Friday
is my usual day for blogging, but I had more important matters to attend to
this week. Fifty-seven years ago yesterday, I did the smartest thing I ever
did. I married Annette Hudgens, the love of my life. We have traveled an
exciting journey through the years, facing many challenges and blessings, but
we always faced them together as a team.
We are truly life partners.
The
early years were not easy financially. At first, we struggled to get by on a
small research fellowship and a secretary’s salary while I completed my Masters
degree in Civil Engineering at the University of Arkansas. But the tough times
were smoothed by an abundance of love. As soon as I graduated, the Selective
Service was breathing down my neck. To keep from being drafted as a private in
the Army, I enrolled in Navy Officer Candidate School. Annette stayed with her
parents during that four-month separation, again working to keep our finances
afloat. She flew up to Rhode Island for my commissioning in the Navy Civil
Engineer Corps. She charmed the whole class with her Southern accent and grace.
We
ended up spending twenty-nine years in the U.S. Navy. We both enjoyed those
years immensely. Finances were again tight, as a Navy Ensign made a paltry salary
in those days. Annette continued to work until our children were born. Our son,
Stephen, was born in 1961. Our daughter, Karen, came along in 1963. We had many
adventures. We moved from coast to coast several times, experiencing both
California and Virginia Lifestyles. We were stationed at Kodiak, Alaska in 1964
during the Great Alaska earthquake. Annette capably shouldered our family
responsibilities during my two Seabee tours in Vietnam totaling seventeen
months. Raising two small children alone and keeping the family organized were
daunting tasks, yet she never complained.
When
the Navy sent me to the George Washington University to get a Masters of
Business Administration degree, we again found expenses outstripping my Navy
salary. Annette went to work at the Center for Naval Analysis. She found her
groove there and moved through several positions while we remained in
Washington. I was stationed in the
Pentagon after getting my MBA, and then did a tour at the Headquarters of the
Naval Facilities Engineering Command.
I
learned that doing well in Washington can be a mixed blessing. In helps with
getting promoted, but once recognized as tolerating the bureaucracy well, it is
hard to get stationed elsewhere. I spent 11 of my last 14 years in the Navy in
Washington. During this time, we got our kids through college. Stephen became a
Civil Engineer at the University of Virginia. Karen earned her accounting
degree at Old Dominion University. Both are married, and we have four treasured
grandchildren.
After
completing my Navy career, I spent nine years as the City Engineer for
Alexandria, Virginia. After our children had graduated and gained employment,
Annette decided to go back to school and complete the accounting degree she
abandoned to get married. She graduated with honors from George Mason
University, then took and passed the Certified Public Accountant exam. She
worked in accounting for the remainder of her career.
After
I retired from Alexandria, we designed and built Annette’s dream house in
Williamsburg, Virginia. By pure luck, we employed the best custom builder in
the area. Our new home has been a joy for over ten years. Annette has become an
expert and respected Master Gardener. She works in a number of their programs
and works and leads tours of the gardens at Colonial Williamsburg. After
spending several years making small boards out of large boards in my
woodworking shop, I took up writing novels to keep my mind active. My three
books are available on Amazon.com, and a fourth is in the works.
One
of the activities Annette and I have enjoyed together over the years is
performing choral music. We met and fell in love in our college choir. We have
performed together in Methodist or military chapel choirs for our entire
marriage. Music is part of the glue that inseparably binds us together. We’ll
keep singing for as long as we have the capability.
Like
many parents, we consider our children to be our greatest accomplishments.
After a distinguished career in the Navy Civil Engineer Corps, Stephen is
working for an engineering firm in Texas. Karen became a computer expert and had
a successful career in the consulting industry. She became an author’s
publicist and media expert to help her father. She enjoyed it so much that she
now has a number of other clients.
We’re
often asked what is the secret to a long and happy marriage. First, I advise to keep love alive. My
cardinal rule is to NEVER do anything on purpose to hurt Annette. Try to always
be supportive and to remember, “There is no ‘I’ in team.”
Note: Warren Bell is an award-winning author of historical and military fiction. His first two novels, Fall Eagle One and Hold Back the Sun are set during World War II, while his third novel, Asphalt and Blood, is set during the Vietnam War.